Hearty Heresy


Supersize Your Salvation
February 20, 2007, 11:09 am
Filed under: Christianity, Religion

Last Saturday night, Mrs. Heretic and I were able to do something relatively rare in our household–we went out to dinner. We try to treat ourselves to a night out at least once a month, but even that’s a little difficult because of our nineteen-month-old son, Hearty, Jr. Fortunately, we’ve found a babysitter who’s pretty good with his bedtime ritual, so we’re able to go out a little more often. On Saturday, we went for some Afghani cuisine at one of our favorite little restaurants. We split a plate of Hummus with Cilantro Chutney for an appetizer, and I had a cup of the Mashawa (vegetarian bean soup, topped with yogurt and mint). For the main dish, Mrs. H. had that night’s special, Kadoo Borani, and I had the three item Vegetarian Plate (Daal, Sabzi, and Kachalo). For dessert, we decided to pass on the Baklava and went with Fimi (milk custard flavored with cardamom and rose water, topped with crushed pistachios) and Daygcha (cardamom and rose scented rice pudding with pistachios and walnuts).

As we were savoring our meal, I realized how grateful I was to have the opportunity to enjoy these flavors from another part of the world. And if we hadn’t been in the mood for Afghani food, we could have easily had Thai or Japanese or Caribbean or some other ethic cuisine at another fine little restaurant elsewhere in town. Heck, we could have even gone out for a burger if we wanted to–which brings me to my point. It occurs to me that orthodox Xianity is kind of like eating burgers all of the time, or (perhaps more kindly) having to order off the same menu all of the time. Let’s see, there’s the Incarnation, the Resurrection, and the Atonement. That’s about it. Want to spice things up a bit? Well, we can offer you the Immaculate Conception and the Assumption if you’d like, but that’s a bit of an acquired taste.

Actually, orthodox Xianity seems to share the same business plan with a major chain of fast food restuarants–billions and billions served/saved. And while there may be some slight variations on the menu depending on the locale, the basic fare is mostly the same. In fact, I think I’ll start calling it Brand Xianity or McChristianity. You know you’ll be getting the same product no matter where you go. Sure, the color scheme and the decor may vary, and the lighted menu signs behind the counter may even be in a different language, but it’s really just the same old rugged cross. For some folks, that’s a good thing. For heretics, it’s not.

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4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Gosh, same here, almost never get to go out and eat. And when we do we spend the whole time thinking about how crazy our daughter is driving the babysitter…lol.

-J. Kaiser

Comment by totaltransformation

What Mrs. H. and I would really like to do is go to a theater and see a movie…but that’s pushing it. We’re lucky to get a couple of hours away for dinner. And good luck with the transformation, J!

Comment by heartyheretic

Ever been to a dinner theater where they serve you dinner while you watch the movie? I love them, I wish we lived near one now.

Comment by totaltransformation

I wish there were one of those theaters around here showing “Amazing Grace.” Even heretics love that hymn…and the story behind it!

Comment by heartyheretic




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