Hearty Heresy

Pick Up Lines for Heretics
August 15, 2007, 1:35 am
Filed under: Christianity, Heresy, Religion, Theology

Even though yours truly is happily married to Mrs. Heretic, I still have empathy for all you heretical guys out there trying to pick up women in the overwhelmingly Brand Xian nation of the United States of America. That’s why I’ve searched my heart and the scriptures for some pick up lines that are guaranteed to at least get you a second look…or is that a double take? At any rate, here they are: The top ten pick up lines for heretics!

10. I may have my doubts about the divinity of Christ, but there’s no doubt about you! (Arian)

9. Would you relax your Christian zeal for me if you knew I was going to die soon? Well, I’m being martyred tomorrow! (Montanist)

8. Since free will doesn’t exist, why don’t we just go ahead and get down with our own bad selves? (Predestinarianist)

7. Hey, did you know there’s no such thing as Original Sin? I guess that means we’ll have to be very creative! (Pelagianist)

6. Are you going to dance with me or should I go home and pull myself up by my bootstraps? (Semi-Pelagianist)

5. Have you ever seen the Godhead manifest itself in the back of my Hyundai Elantra? Would you like to? (Modalist)

4. Let’s get syzygy with it! (Gnostic)

3. Baby, you’ve got it going both ways—dynamic and modalistic! (Monarchianist)

2. Dang, if human souls are imprisoned in material bodies as punishment for their sins, then you must have blasphemed against the Holy Spirit, girl, because those are some bodacious tatas you got there! (Priscillianist)

And the number one pick up line for heretics? Why don’t you tell me?


6 Comments so far
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You made me love you, but I didn’t want to do it! (Calvinist)

Comment by pastorofdisaster

Certainly has #1 pick up line potential!

Comment by heartyheretic

No1 pick up line for heretics? how about “we could have one hell of a time together?”

Comment by jonfeatherstone

Whoo-hoo, Jon! Now that’s hot!

Comment by heartyheretic

What else do you do with that mouth besides pray. . .?

Comment by GoGo Yubari

I’m not sure how heretical that is, GoGo, but it certainly is a pick up line!

Comment by heartyheretic

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